Prologue

All the bathrooms were occupied, and the odor sneaking out from under the doors only made it worse. He yelled out “hurry up, what’s wrong with you people!” And almost at once, half the doors opened and the unholy stench immediately filled the whole plane.

Airplane

Dick, son of Robbert Dickerson, was in seat 13e of flight 136 from phoenix to L.A. when a sudden urge for peanuts got a hold of him. He tried several times to stop the stewardess, but she was always doing something else, or simply forgot. He was getting pissed and he needed his peanuts now!

Dick left his seat and went where no passenger has gone before, behind the curtains. There were no stewardesses there, so he grabbed twenty peanut packages and went back to his seat. He started to eat and savored every nut of the salted goodness. He should have packed a lunch, although he had many bags of peanuts he was not sure they would satisfy his hunger. The in-flight meals had never been very good and it always upset his stomach.

He had only been on a plane twice before, and was scared of flying. An old friend from school once told him several bizarre stories of planes crashing, some caused by the pilots passing out from unbearable smells. Another friend told him that terrorists were the cause to the smell, but Dick didn’t bother to believe either of them.

Dick was starting to feel sick, he stopped a stewardess and asked if the peanuts were fresh. The stewardess told him that they didn’t serve peanuts this flight because they had poisoned a first class passenger. “You just told me that you would get me some before I stole all of these!” he screamed. “I must have gotten confused sir,” she replied, “there are so many passengers aboard, I had a lot on my hands.”

The stewardess walked off leaving Dick sitting there with a pale face. A few minutes later the urge to take a major shit overtook him…

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